There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
