Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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