If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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