apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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