Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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