You're completely useless in the revolution.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
