so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
