i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize