Duck Duck Cougar?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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