my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
