So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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