i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
