my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
