I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
