My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
