wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
