I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I love you. Go after that dick
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
