isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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