Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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