well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
