This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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