Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
