Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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