I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
