And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
