I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
