So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm at about main and main street
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
