Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
