Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
