Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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