I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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