Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
