I faked an abortion last night.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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