dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
