That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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