dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
