do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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