So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We left the knife in your bed.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
