Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize