I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
