so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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