Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
