he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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