You can't special order awesome
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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