Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
