found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
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