perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
