he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
