I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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