I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
