Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize