Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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