We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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