I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she woke up with a sticky ear
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
