i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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