It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
