I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
