It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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