drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
