I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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