so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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