So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
